As is Raymond The Bastard. He had also stated in 2010, during an appearance on The Chris Moyles Show, that he wanted Sir Terry Wogan to play an Irish baddie when Max and Paddy go to a funeral in Ireland but, after a stag night, only have fancy dress magician clothes. * ButtMonkey: Gypsy Joe in the first episode. * BadassLongcoat: Billy the Butcher wears one of these. As soon as they're released, they call in an anthrax threat at the Phoenix Club on the night of Jerry's 60th birthday party.]] ** Max's attempt to [[spoiler: gradually tunnel out of prison. * CoitusInterruptus: After Max and Paddy bring two girls back the motorhome, Paddy predictably has sex with one while Max prefers to have a drink and a civilised chat with the other. Raymond the Bastard? It was broadcast on Channel 4 and began on 12 November 2004, running for six 30-minute episodes up until 17 December 2004. * CelebrityParadox: In episode three, in the scene where The Wolfster writes his telephone number on a beermat and hands it to Max, it is clearly a Peter Kay beermat, tying in with Kay's TV adverts for John Smith's bitter. Although the main workout is shown in full, it is more intended as a spoof product than a genuine workout. * BadassLongcoat: Billy the Butcher wears one of these. Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available from thestaff@tvtropes.org. * MessyPig: Played with by the pig Max and Paddy end up buying from a mad farmer. * NoisySexNextDoor: In the first episode, Max and Paddy pull two girls at a nightclub and bring them back to the motorhome. After the previous episode the duo are now being held on remand in prison. He also reveals that he once had a one true love by the name of Tina. * CampGay: Pepe, Raymond The Bastard's ([[spoiler:the kingpin of the prison wing where Max and Paddy end up]]) boyfriend. The pair are now in prison together after the school bus incident. He was tunnelling towards the next cell. * AffablyEvil: For a DepravedHomosexual [[TheYardies Yardie]] who's literally named "The Bastard," Raymond the Bastard is pretty polite to Max and Paddy. This page is not available in other languages. * OohMeAccentsSlipping: When Max sings "That's Why They Call It The Blues" in Episode Three, Peter Kay's natural voice slips through more than usual. Bringing you all the best moments from stand up to sitcoms!Subscribe here: https://bit.ly/2OKEbEf#PeterKay #PaddyMcGuinness #Max\u0026Paddy After the previous episode the duo are now being held on remand in prison. But Max and Paddy's masquerade falls apart when Phoenix Club owner Brian Potter uses their plight as a publicity stunt for his club. It's real life this son, not the frigging Shawshank Redemption! No Context Max and Paddy. Christine, 33, and Paddy have three children. They reject him, not wanting a high-profile campaign ruining their chances of release. ]], * [[spoiler: PrisonsAreGymnasiums: Episode Four includes a scene set in the. This joke is based around the rumour that Sunderland player John O'Shea is regularly teased by teammates for his physical resemblance to Patrick [=McGuinness=]. The first few while Paddy is teaching Max to dance and pick up women; and the last when they hear an angry rant from Max after Paddy accidentally wakes up him while having ADateWithRosiePalms. * EvenEvilHasLovedOnes: Raymond, the main antagonist of Episode 4 clearly loves his boyfriend Pepe, and vice-versa. Doesn't take long before they try selling it. Apparently, he wasn't much better as an actual child, stabbing his careworker 18 times with a potato peeler for making him play with a jigsaw puzzle that he didn't like. ]], * [[spoiler: ConvenientlyCellmates: Averted in the case of Max and. ]], ** A more straight example comes in the last episode. ]], * [[spoiler: PrisonEpisode: Episode Four after being set up at the end of Episode Three. Tracing the cow to a nearby farm, the pair head off to find the farmer and claim expenses for the damage to the van. [[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/max_and_paddy.jpg]]. Raymond has heard about the pair's alleged big-money heists and robberies, and wants a cut of their money. [1] * FatBastard: Not Max, but one of Raymond the Bastard's hired thugs is pretty fat. * AssShove: When Paddy was a child he used to frequently shove ''Franchise/StarWars'' action figures up his arse and once had to be taken to hospital after sticking an Obi-Wan Kenobi figure up there. After hi-jacking a school bus, the boys are sent to prison and play up their tough image in an attempt for survival. After an altercation with fellow prisoner Pepe, the pair of them meet Raymond the Bastard. * NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast: Raymond the Bastard, obviously. Written by and starring Peter Kay and Patrick McGuinness, this six-part comedy/drama series is the story of clueless Phoenix Club bouncers Max (Kay) and Paddy (McGuinness), as they escape clubland in their prized motor-home and take to the open highway. HilarityEnsues. Before Billy can pull the trigger, Paddy recovers and renders him unconscious with a traffic cone. Raymond is the worse of Paddy's nightmares when Paddy drops the soap, and is eagerly commented about his manhood as "Stunning, like a young Burt Reynolds!". Max and Paddy try to sell the pig on but no-one will take it as it is too old. Potter fails to listen, and the whole wing later see him on the news talking about 'the doormen' Max and Paddy: thus revealing their stories as lies. After being arrested for the school bus robbery, the two of them are in jail. Stars Peter Kay, Paddy McGuinness and Lisa Hammond. I don't [[UnusualEuphemism drink from both pipes]] and [[HandsomeLech that lad]] ''definitely'' does not! Singer Tony Christie was to sing the show's theme, but his version was only used once, at the very end of the final episode. Tina finally gets the duo out, but now before a payback for Potter Is due. * AccidentalPublicConfession: Although it occurs in private; during an argument, Max's ex-girlfriend Tina frustratedly blurts out that [[spoiler: they have a child together.]]. The prisoners also turn against them after finding they are not big time thiefs, money they have also promised to Mr. Big for the easy life. * HypocriticalHumor: Max insists that there's a difference between "dwarfs"(he thinks they're people with dwarfism who specifically work at circuses) and "midgets"(which is what he defines his ex-girlfriend Tina as). * LeftTheBackgroundMusicOn: Episode Three contains a montage of [[spoiler:Max following his long lost son to school and trying to deal with the news that he's a father]] set to the Boyzone cover of "Father & Son". Paddy is still bleeding profusely when he walks away afterwards.]]. [[spoiler: Max decides not to tell his long lost son Daniel that he is his real father; allowing Daniel, Tina, and Kevin (Tinas husband and an old friend of Max who believes he is Daniels father) to remain a happy family. * HappilyMarried: Tina and Kevin Wolfson/"The Wolfster". Beginning on 12th November 2004, Road to Nowhere continued for six thirty minute episodes on Channel 4. Theyre generally decent guys but not above stealing and conning people if it will benefit them. While awaiting Tina's reluctant assistance to get them freed, they are forced to make a deal with Raymond the Bastard to share their non-existent loot. He arrives to work to find a load of muscular black men in top hats. * {{Catchphrase}}: A few. * OopNorth: Traditionally Lancashire, but there are a few characters from other parts of Northern England, such as Mick Bustin' (played by Birmingham native Noddy Holder) and Billy the Butcher (Newcastle). After an uncomfortable first night, Paddy admits his fear of being 'bummed' (see sodomy) in the shower room by Raymond the Bastard (Raymond Langley). * ShoutOut: The climax of Episode Two is a homage to ''Series/TheATeam'' complete with the theme tune playing in the background. * ItsAllAboutMe: Both Max and Paddy are prone to this. He also keeps a poster of ''Film/{{Blade}}'' in his bedroom, another BadassLongcoat wearer. [[spoiler: Max and Paddy get stuck with the job of shovelling coal into a furnace while in prison, and Max says that therell be two kitchen jobs available once Raymond The Bastard arranges for two inmates to get locked in the freezer.]] Sign Up. ]]\, '''Brian:''' [[spoiler: Sponge and a bit of jam. * PsychopathicManchild: Apart from being murderously violent, Billy the Butcher spends time engaging in trivial debates with Paddy over correctly guessing the theme tunes to popular TV shows, where Paddy insists on going by ExactWords including the creators as well as the show titles. Not long after, Brian Potter pays a visit and thanks to a news article regarding the Phoenix Club, the inmates find out that Max and Paddy are just "bouncers". They've got the wrong bus however, and are soon captured by the police and sent directly to prison. * EnemyEatsYourLunch: Pepe eats the cake that one of the friendlier inmates' daughter gave to him as a warning that he's due to pay collection money to Raymond the Bastard. Max has "How dare you" (delivered in a haughty tone) and "You only get a bucket and a half" (relating to the amount of semen a man can produce), and Paddy has "Paddy has needs" (relating to his sex drive). * CantHoldHisLiquor: Max accuses Paddy of this in the first episode but he contends that he must have been [[SlippingAMickey spiked]]. ** A variant of this happens at the end of the same episode after Max and Paddy finally get some speakers for their TV and Paddy puts on his [[ParallelPornTitles. * MessyPig: Played with by the pig Max and Paddy end up buying from a mad farmer. Elsewhere Paddys love of pornography is mentioned quite frequently. * RealMenEatMeat: Max and Paddy are of this opinion at the start of Episode 5. Kay and McGuinness do not provide the DVD audio commentary. * TheYardies: Raymond the Bastard is black, a convicted criminal, and speaks with a Jamaican accent, so it's safe to say he qualifies as a Yardie. While waiting, Max and Paddy catch the train to Middlewood, which actually turns out to be the last one that day, so the pair are forced to trek back through the woods, but get lost. . While awaiting Tina's reluctant assistance to get them freed, they are forced to make a deal with Raymond the Bastard to share their non-existent loot. After discovering the girls, locally known as the 'Belgrano Sisters', are infamous for this, they get revenge by forcing them to steal some speakers for their television. Career His roles on television include Wayne in The Street, Raymond the Bastard in Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere and Cecil in Prime Suspect 5. ** In a deleted scene from the first episode, Paddy walks in on Max having some * AssShove: When Paddy was a child he used to frequently shove StarWars action figures up his arse and once had to be taken to hospital after sticking an Obi-Wan Kenobi figure up there. ''Max And Paddy's Road To Nowhere'' is Creator/Channel4 BritCom spun-off from the popular comedy ''Series/PhoenixNights'' that sees former Phoenix Club doormen Max (Creator/PeterKay) and Paddy (Paddy [=McGuinness=]) aimlessly travelling around Britain in a motorhome that they bought with the proceeds from faking an assassination and pocketing the cash during the final episodes of. Paddy causes tension by burning Max's book on their campfire, but Max eventually forgives Paddy and begins discussing, accompanied by a flashback, his one true love: a dwarf called Tina, whom he met in 1994. Phoenix Nights Wiki is a FANDOM TV Community. But then again, there was no way the rest of the Phoenix staff knew about it, assuming Brian kept it to himself and went along with the campaign anyway. Max and Paddy get sent to jail for their crimes. ** The climax of Episode Two is a homage to ''Series/TheATeam'' complete with the theme tune playing in the background. Unbeknowst to Max, Billy has become obsessed with Max and goes to all lengths to give Max what he wants. Raymond the bastard frankbutcher1878 59 videos 227 views Last updated on Dec 6, 2022 Play all Shuffle 1 4:15 Calvin Harris - Blame ft. John Newman Calvin Harris 814M views 8 years ago 2 4:15. * DisabledSnarker: A woman with a HookHand flips Paddy off when he tries his CasanovaWannabe shtick on her. [[spoiler: They're better known as the Belgrano Sisters ( "on account of all the sailors that have gone down on them"]]) and their MO is to pick up sailors in nightclubs, [[SlippingAMickey drug them]], and rob them blind. Episode 1's opening theme is instrumental and episodes 2 - 5's closing themes are too. ]], ** Also Max and Paddy in Episode Four when [[spoiler: a news report about them set up by Brian is seen one of the prison's TV; blowing their persona of rich gangsters and revealing to Raymond The Bastard that they have been lying to him. At the very least, he doesn't make rude jokes about her dwarfism like her first love Max did. On 27 November 2014 live shows were announced for Comic Relief, with the full cast returning. * [[spoiler: PrisonsAreGymnasiums: Episode Four includes a scene set in the prisons exercise yard and at the start of the episode, Paddys cellmate challenges him and Max to a game of tennis. * ShapedLikeItself: Raymond The Bastard is, as youd expect, a bastard. They soon realise that they have been conned. He [[LampshadeHanging points out]] how stupid it is to expect this. Elsewhere, ** Max and Paddy not paying the (admittedly extortionate) repair bill for their motorhome and instead [[spoiler: stealing it back (see MacGyvering), and taking all of the keys to cars the mechanics were working on and tossing them out of the motorhome one by one while driving off]] seems like this until the reveal that [[spoiler: the mechanics didnt do any work on the motorhome yet still tried to charge them 500. ]], ** A straighter example is the end of Episode Four. However, the child, a 10-year-old boy called Daniel, is actually Max's son. [1] A spin-off from Peter Kay's Phoenix Nights, the series follows the two Bolton doormen/bouncers Maxwell "Max" Bygraves (Kay) and Patrick "Paddy" O'Shea (McGuinness) as they tour around the UK in their campervan. It doesn't take long before they try selling it. After an altercation with a camp inmate called Pepe, Max and Paddy are soon confronted by the main man of their wing, Raymond The Bastard (played by Everal Walsh), who is also Pepe's boyfriend. When this happens, it's usually because the owner only shared it with a small group of people, changed who can see it or it's been deleted. The two of them get their own back on Brian by claiming there is an outbreak of Anthrax in the club, leading to the club and its staff to be subjected to nude sterilisation. On one occasional, the pair end up in prison. Though Paddy [[ADateWithRosiePalms doesnt get very far]] before the volume wakes Max up. Then Paddy walks in, switches off the radio, and wearily asks How many times are you going to play that song?, * LeftTheBackgroundMusicOn: Episode Three contains a montage of [[spoiler:Max following his long lost son to school and trying to deal with the news that, * LuxuryPrisonSuite: [[spoiler: Max and Paddy get one complete with duvets, a box of Terrys All Gold chocolates, and satellite TV after making out that they are rich gangsters and promising Raymond The Bastard 60% of their non-existent loot. Paddy is not happy. '', * EstablishingCharacterMoment: [[AxCrazy Billy the Butcher]] is introduced beating up a pizza delivery man with a bin for bringing him the wrong delivery. [[GassHole A lot.]] * HeroicSacrifice: Tina is determined to keep the secret that [[spoiler: Max is Daniel's father]] because it will destroy her family, despite that it means [[spoiler: Max and Paddy being in prison because her going to the police and corroborating their story will reveal everything. He points the gun at Max who tells him he needs help. You'd think by his name he'd be Indian, right? Max is the older and more level-headed of the two, roughly 40 years old, and usually pretending to have more life experience than he has actually had, including a stint in the army. He claims they can sell it on at market for around 300. The DVD also included extra workout tips and a segment instructed by Brian Potter live from the Phoenix Club. They still end up in cells next door to each other though.]]. * HeroicSacrifice: Tina is determined to keep the secret that [[spoiler: Max is Daniel's father]] because it will destroy her family, despite that it means [[spoiler: Max and Paddy being in prison because her going to the police and corroborating their story will reveal everything. When the campervan stops off later down the road, Max sees a newspaper headline and realises what's happening. He has also appeared in Coronation Street, Emmerdale and Doctor Who. * ContinuityNod: When Young Kenny appears in Episode Four, he still has the impossible to remove tiger facepaint that he got at. * IAmAHumanitarian: When pretending to be brutal gangsters, Paddy pretends to have eaten the last person who insulted him, with a perfectly serious face. Get us out! We don't have any reviews for Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere. * HoneyTrap: Tracey and Sharon, the girls that Max and Paddy take home in Episode One after going out dressed as sailors. After a stint in a porn film (a film called Willy Wanker and the Chocolate Factory - a gay porn parody of Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory) leaves Paddy humiliated, the campervan breaks down in the Midlands. ** In the first episode, Max and Paddy pull two girls at a nightclub and bring them back to the motorhome. Menu. See EpicFail.]]. Max often oppressively stares at Paddy or anyone who has offended his tastes and often shouts "H-how dare you!".
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